Notes from the TEFL Graveyard

Wistful reflections, petty glories.

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Location: The House of Usher, Brazil

I'm a flailing TEFL teacher who entered the profession over a decade ago to kill some time whilst I tried to find out what I really wanted to do. I like trying to write comedy (I once got to the semi-finals of a BBC Talent competition, ironically writing a sitcom based on TEFL), whilst trying to conquer genetically inherited procrastination... I am now based in Brazil, where I live with my wife and two chins.

Sunday 27 April 2008

VIVA LAS VEGAS!

On Wednesday I finally met the shadowy Seu Francisco. He'd cancelled our Tuesday arrangement due to his being in Montevideo gambling (officially, casinos are illegal in Brazil). I was ushered into a meeting room in his property agency with a large casino table in the middle and packs of cards littering the surrounding surfaces. Ten minutes later a large car drew into the courtyard outside and a tottering brunette with designer everything got out, with Seu Francisco a few paces behind.

Brazilian entrepreneurs all seem to have the same kind of personality. They tend to be gruff, suspicious and exude an unwillingness to suffer fools gladly, which could put me in immediate danger, I mused ruefully. His ladyfriend was at most half his age and demonstrably sullen, as most extremely wealthy women seem to be in my limted experience. "I'm going to Las Vegas with her," Seu Francisco snapped, gesturing vaguely in her direction, "and we want to understand what they say in the casinos." He played with a chunky diamond encrusted gold ring while she stared at the blue felt surface of the card table with a recondite ennui. The stale, tense atmosphere hardly augured the swinging time The King proposed in his 1970s tourism masterpiece (see below), and which Tom Jones ensured with his own unique volume. Excusing herself suddenly, she swung her Louis Vuitton bag over her shoulder, planted her Chanel sunglasses on top of her head and wiggled out the room, leaving us gentlemen to the port and Montecristo Media Noches.

"Where did you win her?" I was about to ask, but Seu Francisco turned straight to business and demanded to know my price. I'm no negotiator, but I'm genuinely amazed to say that I managed to get my best deal yet for classes, plus my petrol and road tolls paid. Three mornings a week I'll be trundling there, messing about with decks of cards and earning a living wage for my troubles.

I'm planning to use Total Physical Response, a rather splendid technique that involves the teacher saying the words and doing the actions, in this case things like "deal the cards", "place your bets", "shuffle the pack", "shoot James Bond under the table", etc, with the students just copying the actions in silence. Somehow it makes them remember the new vocabulary effortlessly. I may even pick up some poker tips along the way. Either that or I'll be walking home blubbering in a pair of borrowed bermudas.

Viva Las Vegas!





8 Comments:

Blogger John Zachary Lee said...

Whenever I've tried to use Total Physical Response, or even just encouraged students to be enthusiastic during roleplays, they tend to say "This isn't acting class, you know!"

Have you actually had any success with it?

(I'm a fellow Brit TEFLer serving time in Rio, by the way, and a major fan of your blog.)

27 April 2008 at 13:10  
Blogger Gadjo Dilo said...

Shit, your teach-English-for-Las-Vegas story was for real! And I never imagined that casinos would be illegal in Brazil. Your comments on the ultra-wealthy are interesting and depressing: money is wasted on the rich.

27 April 2008 at 16:37  
Blogger M C Ward said...

Bem-vindo Zach, and thanks for the kind comments. It's heartening to know I'm not the only stranger in a strange land. Are you a lifer too?!

As for TPR, despite the huge potential for dissent, I've never had any complaints about it. I'm always careful to explain the rationale behind it (James J Asher's Teaching Language Through Actions explains it all very thoroughly), which has the added benefit of making you look knowledgable. I'm also cautious about not over-using it - it has to be linked to some other activity, or they can think it's just babyish idiocy. The results always surprise them, however.

Any plans to start a Rio blog? I could start a franchise...

GD - casinos are one of the few things that are illegal in Brazil, in practice that is. It was depressing meeting such bored millionaires, and fuel for the self-help blogs taking the "money can't buy you happiness" line. I wouldn't know, I'm a TEFL teacher.

27 April 2008 at 19:28  
Blogger John Zachary Lee said...

I looked up Mr Asher and got a 6-step procedure that seems quite fun. I think I could try it with students of all levels, not just beginners. But I'll take your advice to link it to something.

A Rio blog? It would be too similar to English Teacher X. And that's depressing enough.

Am I a lifer? Well, I've been teaching English in Rio for 7 years, and am very much acostumado with life and my work here. I like the intellectual stimulation of translations too. I certainly don't intend to 'open my hand' to this just yet. I couldn't settle back in the UK. And you? Are you preso in Brazil indefinitely?

29 April 2008 at 13:48  
Blogger M C Ward said...

Good luck with the TPR stuff. It's a cool way to learn new words, which is what it's all about after all.

I've been here 6 years now, I sometimes long for home but I realise it's an idealised, fantasy home that doesn't really exist. Like you, I'd find it hard to go back permanently, but never say never, eh? Having a Brazilian wife definitely sways things too!

29 April 2008 at 23:02  
Blogger The TEFL Tradesman said...

Yeh, but have you EVER tried using TPR to teach academic writing classes? Sucks a bit, that does.

Even an am-dram aficionado such as meself finds it a tad difficult interpreting discourse markers a la Stanislavsky...

1 May 2008 at 15:13  
Blogger El Gringo Vasco said...

one shouldn't ever say never, that is.
;-P

1 May 2008 at 16:14  
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