...N, O, P, ARSEHOLE, R, S...
I'd noticed the factory nurse sniggering to herself, and thought it downright unethical, given my limited language skills and piss poor pronunciation of Portuguese. Stoic as always, I soldiered on through the eye test. "Pay (P), say (C), shiss (X)..." I dutifully reeled off as the letters diminished in size and visibility, but there it was again, the little smirk, the way she turned away from me and stifled a cackle.
Seeking enlightenment, when I arrived home, I summoned Show to my antechamber and sought her advice on how to pronounce the letter "Q". "Kay," she stated flatly, "like K in English." Therein lay the rub. Vague memories of my four-year degree in Italian wafting into my overexcited memory, I had inadvertantly used the Italian pronunciation "coo", which, by happy coincidence, means "arsehole" in Portuguese.
Which was quite apt really, because the nurse was an arsehole for laughing. And she looked a bit Italian. Innit?