Notes from the TEFL Graveyard

Wistful reflections, petty glories.

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Location: The House of Usher, Brazil

I'm a flailing TEFL teacher who entered the profession over a decade ago to kill some time whilst I tried to find out what I really wanted to do. I like trying to write comedy (I once got to the semi-finals of a BBC Talent competition, ironically writing a sitcom based on TEFL), whilst trying to conquer genetically inherited procrastination... I am now based in Brazil, where I live with my wife and two chins.

Sunday, 11 May 2008

THE LAST POST

This is my last post for a couple of weeks, as our male voice choir's voyage to Eastern Pomerania has finally been confirmed, and we fly out on Tuesday. Last night was our farewell concert, filmed by local TV stations and packed with second-class dignitaries. I think it's fair to say we went down a storm, rather than went down in a storm, much to the relief of the companies funding our musical mission.

I have a feeling that the Poles will warm to the sheer joie de vivre of our group, comprised of, amongst others, a five-foot mathematician (useful for quick currency conversions), a psychotic paediatrician (useful for discouraging hypochondria) and a soloist with an ego (if not a voice) that could fill the Maracanã, who has refused to memorise the music and is in constant conflict with our brilliant but unpredictable choirmaster. Throw into the mix an unwitting Benny Hill impersonator, and we could justifiably be described as truly blessed.

For those unable to attend, here is a track listing of our repertoire. You'll just have to close your eyes and imagine 28 Johnny Cash dressalikes belting out these numbers, relentlessly, one after another, whilst jiggling around like only brasileiros do at appropriate junctures. I, at most, will be clapping self-consciously on the off beats.

  1. O Magnum Mysterium - Morten Lauridsen (USA) - sacred music in Latin;
  2. Salmo 150 - Ernani Aguiar (Brazil) - sacred music (Psalm 150) in Latin;
  3. Exultate Deo - Palestrina (Italy) - sacred music in Latin;
  4. Inveni David - Anton Bruckner (Austria) - sacred music in Latin;
  5. He Hideth My Soul - Fanny J Crosby, William J Kirkpatrick, arr. Joseph Linn (USA) - gospel music in English;
  6. Asa Branca - Luiz Gonzaga, Humberto Teixeira (Brazil) - folk music (forró) in Portuguese;
  7. Samba do Ernesto - Adoniram Barbosa (Brazil) - folk music (samba) in Portuguese;
  8. Isto Aqui o Que É? - Ary Barroso (Brazil) - folk music (samba) in Portuguese;
  9. Desafinado - Tom Jobim, arr. Eduardo D Carvalho (Brazil) - folk music (bossa nova) in Portuguese;
  10. Rockin' Jerusalem - André J Thomas (USA) - negro spiritual in English;
  11. Swingin' with the Saints - Traditional, arr. Mark Hayes (USA) - negro spiritual/jazz in English;
  12. Peggy O'Neill - Harry Pease, Ed G Nelson, Gilbert Dodge (USA) - barbershop in English;
  13. Ain'-a That Good News - William L Dawson (USA) - negro spiritual in English.

Until the next time - don't go changin'!

4 Comments:

Blogger Gadjo Dilo said...

Oh, Mr Ward: samba, Jobim, negro spirituals, Fanny J Crosby (a most sensual hymn lyricist, on occasions), a Benny Hill impersonator, and to be within owright?-ing distance of another Englishman - it fair makes me want to get on the overnight train to Krakow and, a packet of Carpaţi in my hand, hitch-hike from there! Have a great trip, and bring back a bottle of Żubrówka for your Brazilian friends.

11 May 2008 at 13:59  
Blogger M C Ward said...

Thank you kindly, Gadjo. You'd be most welcome, Carpaţi or no Carpaţi.

Żubrówka sounds lethal, but if you recommend it, I'm game.

11 May 2008 at 14:42  
Blogger No Good Boyo said...

When the Poles let you out of gaol you'll all be celebrities, just think of it.

Safe journey, MC. Polish food is a collision between a pig and decomposing cabbage, best savoured after being kept in a bucket under a grandmother's bed for two days. You'll need that Żubrówka.

13 May 2008 at 06:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's been more than a couple of weeks- how did it go?

28 May 2008 at 08:18  

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