Notes from the TEFL Graveyard

Wistful reflections, petty glories.

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Location: The House of Usher, Brazil

I'm a flailing TEFL teacher who entered the profession over a decade ago to kill some time whilst I tried to find out what I really wanted to do. I like trying to write comedy (I once got to the semi-finals of a BBC Talent competition, ironically writing a sitcom based on TEFL), whilst trying to conquer genetically inherited procrastination... I am now based in Brazil, where I live with my wife and two chins.

Thursday 12 February 2009

FACING UP TO TECHNOLOGY

The Internet is something of a double-edged sword, I meekly opine.

There are times that I fret that it’s turning a whole generation of pasty, furtive boys into daylight intolerant hunchbacks with an overly strong handshake whose only real ambition is to find the address of THAT nightclub where THOSE kinds of parties take place with the SHAME-FREE CZECH AND HUNGARIAN GIRLS.

Teenage girls tend to use the web to jabber with their mates (with whom they’ve just spent the whole school day jabbering, but still manage to find something they haven’t yet jabbered about), and finding older men to become obsessed with, be seduced by and eventually meet when visiting them during a spell spent at Her Majesty’s Pleasure, all while secretly conspiring to marry the baby-faced one out of the latest boy band at the drop of a hat.

Then there is the descent of English into a kind of impenetrable code written by monkeys with typewriters in the throes of a protracted work to rule.

As far as social networking in concerned, Brazilians prefer the largely unpopular elsewhere Orkut (aw-koot-chy) to the more Anglophone Facebook – and after initial resistance to virtual relationship-building, I now have an account in both, with the former attracting one friend (Show, perhaps a reflection of my popularity in my adopted country), while with the latter I am rapidly winning hearts and minds, with over twenty digital chums and counting.

No sooner had Crappers appeared than I tracked down Crockers (the incredible exploding TEFL teacher, recently avoiding any more munitions-related episodes, I gather), and we now exchange sharp social commentary via Facebook messages with a certain frequency.

Welsh drinks cabinet inhabitant and general legend, NPD, is back on the scene, to my huge relief, and I’ve actually Skyped him with a camera and everything, much to our collective delight.

Also surfacing from the swamp of largely suppressed memories are a Spanish girl I used to work with who has changed her name and metamorphosed into a professional model and artist, and several ex-schoolmates, one of whom miraculously appears to have found me by chance when she visited this blog (what are the chances of that? And she isn’t even a TEFL hireling…).

Other assorted ex-colleagues and hangers-on have also come running to worship at my online shrine – I would just like to take this opportunity to welcome you all and say what an utter pleasure it is to be in touch with you all again.

If any of you have any career advice to dole out, or knows of any non-TEFL job opportunities, please feel free to let rip.

8 Comments:

Blogger Gadjo Dilo said...

I'm afraid that I haven't got much time for Orkut or Facebook, though people send me messages on the latter. Funny you should mention career advice now, as I believe that I'm in imminent danger of losing my job and have considered the alternatives - TEFL being one of them!! Now, errr, I feel a bit silly saying this, but do you recommend it?

13 February 2009 at 03:41  
Blogger M C Ward said...

Gadj, I moan about TEFL because I've reached burn out and cleverly haven't developed significant alternative skills (though I'm constantly working on it, however aimlessly).

If you're thinking of TEFL as a stop gap kind of thing, I wouldn't be against it - it's pretty low stress (if you teach adults like me), but I wouldn't recommend it long term. There are people who love it, but the lack of prospects and remuneration get one down after a while I feel.

Let me know if I can help out at all, and godspeed!

13 February 2009 at 10:30  
Blogger No Good Boyo said...

I had a Facebook account but accidentally locked myself out of it and now can't get back in as the email I signed up with is also inaccessible. Best thing I ever never intended to do.

I'll check out Orkut. Sounds like a contracted Romanian gymnast.

15 February 2009 at 15:59  
Blogger Gyppo Byard said...

I have consistently avoided Facebook on the grounds that I'm too old. Since I'm now even older than when I first made the decision, it would be perverse to reverse it now.

20 February 2009 at 02:18  
Blogger Mrs Pouncer said...

On no account have anything to do with Facebook, even though Barry Teeth begs you to. It is the gloomiest thing imaginable, with hordes of oiks lining up to "poke" you, which doesn't mean what you hope it does, and vile turncoats publishing topless photographs taken in the summer of '77 when I should've known better, and Factor 60 hadn't been invented.

21 February 2009 at 11:40  
Blogger Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

ACTUALLY I've hooked up with a number of old friends through Facebook. I do not allow anyone who I have not met in the flesh or on a blog to be my "friend". But you can drop in, MC. I enjoy playing mindless but stressbusting word games on it, much to McChe's scorn (as he is the major cause of my stress he could have the decency to keep his gob shut). And matchmaking. How's it going with Anonymous Vi, Gadj?

23 February 2009 at 04:07  
Blogger Ms Scarlet said...

No. I'm confused enough.
Sx

24 February 2009 at 08:15  
Blogger paulc said...

I signed up to Facebook (someone told me it would be good for networking with other professionals in my field) but totally don't understand it, and thus any messages I receive tend to get left as I can't be assed to sign in and see what they've said? I fear I must admit defeat, I'm just too old for all these sorts of things.

6 March 2009 at 20:08  

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