Notes from the TEFL Graveyard

Wistful reflections, petty glories.

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Location: The House of Usher, Brazil

I'm a flailing TEFL teacher who entered the profession over a decade ago to kill some time whilst I tried to find out what I really wanted to do. I like trying to write comedy (I once got to the semi-finals of a BBC Talent competition, ironically writing a sitcom based on TEFL), whilst trying to conquer genetically inherited procrastination... I am now based in Brazil, where I live with my wife and two chins.

Thursday, 12 March 2009

BEATING THE FINANCIAL CRISIS THE WARDY WAY

I'm tempting fate with this one, but I really am quite busy. Good luck!
  1. Move to a Third World country;
  2. Cry yourself to sleep for the first six years as a penniless TEFL teacher;
  3. In desperation, try to learn to become a Web Developer;
  4. Give up trying to become a Web Developer;
  5. Listen to your wife’s suggestion to use the skills you already have, instead of bumbling around trying to learn new ones * – then stubbornly ignore it;
  6. Try to become a Web Developer again;
  7. Give up trying to become a Web Developer again and return to point 2;
  8. Decide to use the skills you already have, instead of bumbling around trying to learn new ones – and pretend it was all your idea;
  9. Become a translator and charge just below global market rates;
  10. Sit back and enjoy profiting from the economic chaos that has engulfed the planet and turned exchange rates in your favour, like a Bond villain, or summat;

* Expletives removed for the sake of human decency.

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7 Comments:

Blogger No Good Boyo said...

Good point, MC. I reckon George Soros would make a fine Bond villain, especially as his native language is Esperanto, the Toungue of Knaves.

13 March 2009 at 11:58  
Blogger Mrs Pouncer said...

Boyo, you dolt. Mentioning the E word will only lead to trouble with the hessian wallpaper brigade again, and you know how boring and silly that became. The worst bit was when Mr Chapman thought I was Gyppo. I cried and cried.

15 March 2009 at 19:32  
Blogger No Good Boyo said...

I confess to trying to summon them from their watery lair, Clarissa, just to see how MC would deal with them. Perhaps they're still hibernating, or Brazilian ISPs ban posts from ungroovy types.

15 March 2009 at 22:18  
Blogger M C Ward said...

Esperantists are broadly welcome - more so than the French, who chose to come up with their one reasonable match of the championships against Wales RFC recently.

I am writing mid-translation, which is apt.

15 March 2009 at 22:29  
Blogger Ms Scarlet said...

Hello Mr Wardy, your presence is desired HERE.
Mrs P is holding a discussion about Swanage.
Sx

24 March 2009 at 19:27  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am watching you AND your irksome architraves. Behind my veil I am LUGHING HA HA HA at your woebegone non-spark FAILURE OF EFFULGENCE.
I am THE breakfast man.

31 March 2009 at 06:45  
Blogger M C Ward said...

Bem-vindo, breakfast man!

All are welcome here, even those that find my architraves irksome, and take delight in my failures of effulgence.

What does being "THE breakfast man" involve exactly? Sounds intriguing...

1 April 2009 at 08:56  

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