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NO MORE A-CUSSIN'

In an effort to rid himself of the habit of using foul language at the slightest provocation, a Facebook chum recently asked for suggestions for harmless expressions he could use in front of his Gran and her bingo clique during moments of high stress, astonishment and/or extreme disappointment.

I weighed in with, "Crikey!" and, "Great Scott!"

Please feel free to add your suggestions, and help to make the world a tiny bit less like a trucker's stopover in Eindhoven.
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Comments

engelsk said…
Blast!

Oh my giddy aunt

Oh my giddy Nora

Oh my giddy aunt Nora

(Or would the dears feel he was talking about them?)
27 April 2010 at 04:50
M C Ward said…
Engelsk, now we're cooking with gas. Quite inspired, sah!
27 April 2010 at 10:30
Nicky said…
Goodness gracious!
Good googedy-moogedy!
Great googa-mooga!
Jeepers creepers!
Jeez louise!
etc., etc.
28 April 2010 at 03:08
M C Ward said…
Nicky, I like your stateside slant. He's in the US of A at the moment, so your comment is highly opportune. Now we can be sure that he'll get through his trip offending no one.
28 April 2010 at 10:34
Gyppo Byard said…
Good grief! is quite mild; if he's northern enough then "Well go to the foot of our stairs!" might suit.

Personally, I go with Shakespearian epithets much of the time - 'Fie on thee!' and 'A pox upon the whoreson knave!' are quite satisfying, but may still be too much for the aunts...
28 April 2010 at 20:43
M C Ward said…
Gyppo, fine industry, my liege. Under provocation maybe he could refer to his tormentor as a "goodly rotten apple".
29 April 2010 at 10:16
No Good Boyo said…
I make up my own.

"Thrack your pendlers!"

"Ga-ROOP, Ga-ROOP!"
9 May 2010 at 18:07
M C Ward said…
Just the thought of having my pendlers thracked leaves me with a morbid dread mixed with a strange curiosity.
9 May 2010 at 19:16
Teresa Bestwick said…
I generally teach my students "Bother". I couldn't help but think of the Family Guy episode where Stewie writes "profanity" on the wall - I hope the link works :)
http://bit.ly/bDbEdt
14 May 2010 at 15:34
Dave_a_teacher said…
How about the last-moment alterations?

Fu - dge!
Boll - ards!
Shi - ps that pass in the night!
Mother F - ather!
12 July 2010 at 04:00
M C Ward said…
Dave, these are cunning and imaginative - I salute you. The last one also allow parents vocabulary to be incorporated into the ejaculation, not that there's any guarantee the any of the students will notice/remember anyway of course.
12 July 2010 at 12:14
Alex Case said…
I think limiting online insults to terms like this would be a great way of calming down forum discourse.

You little blighter

Bleeding

Blimey

and lots of other things beginning with bl, no doubt
18 September 2010 at 04:10
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