NO MORE A-CUSSIN'
In an effort to rid himself of the habit of using foul language at the slightest provocation, a Facebook chum recently asked for suggestions for harmless expressions he could use in front of his Gran and her bingo clique during moments of high stress, astonishment and/or extreme disappointment.
I weighed in with, "Crikey!" and, "Great Scott!"
Please feel free to add your suggestions, and help to make the world a tiny bit less like a trucker's stopover in Eindhoven.
Labels: Basil Rathbone, puta merda, swearing, The Dutch
posted by M C Ward | 14:06
12 Comments:
Blast!
Oh my giddy aunt
Oh my giddy Nora
Oh my giddy aunt Nora
(Or would the dears feel he was talking about them?)
Engelsk, now we're cooking with gas. Quite inspired, sah!
Goodness gracious!
Good googedy-moogedy!
Great googa-mooga!
Jeepers creepers!
Jeez louise!
etc., etc.
Nicky, I like your stateside slant. He's in the US of A at the moment, so your comment is highly opportune. Now we can be sure that he'll get through his trip offending no one.
Good grief! is quite mild; if he's northern enough then "Well go to the foot of our stairs!" might suit.
Personally, I go with Shakespearian epithets much of the time - 'Fie on thee!' and 'A pox upon the whoreson knave!' are quite satisfying, but may still be too much for the aunts...
Gyppo, fine industry, my liege. Under provocation maybe he could refer to his tormentor as a "goodly rotten apple".
I make up my own.
"Thrack your pendlers!"
"Ga-ROOP, Ga-ROOP!"
Just the thought of having my pendlers thracked leaves me with a morbid dread mixed with a strange curiosity.
I generally teach my students "Bother". I couldn't help but think of the Family Guy episode where Stewie writes "profanity" on the wall - I hope the link works :)
http://bit.ly/bDbEdt
How about the last-moment alterations?
Fu - dge!
Boll - ards!
Shi - ps that pass in the night!
Mother F - ather!
Dave, these are cunning and imaginative - I salute you. The last one also allow parents vocabulary to be incorporated into the ejaculation, not that there's any guarantee the any of the students will notice/remember anyway of course.
I think limiting online insults to terms like this would be a great way of calming down forum discourse.
You little blighter
Bleeding
Blimey
and lots of other things beginning with bl, no doubt
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