CRAPPERS - AN INSPIRATION

My heart has felt the warmth that is sympathetic joy this past few days after I got back in touch with ex-TEFL cellmate Crappers, (aka Scream, a moniker derived from his passing resemblance to the subject of Edvard Munch's masterpiece, due to his despairing state of mind, which I suspect was largely TEFL-induced), whom I was delighted to discover has wed, procreated twice, producing two enchanting offspring, and is now living it large up London. It was he that rescued me from the bouncer's bed and watched with a mixture of horror and amusement as I ate a mini pizza that I'd recently dropped on my shoe.

Judging by his showreel, if his name isn't in lights yet, they're certainly ordering a gross of bulbs. I last saw him in the late nineties, when he suddenly broke ranks and left to do some kind of degree in arty stuff - and look where he is now. Clearly it helps to be lavishly talented, but even so.

Living proof that there is life beyond TEFL. I've surmised that, in order to have anything normal people regard as a career, you need to stop doing easy things that everybody (thinks they) can do (which depresses wages and those receiving them) and learn something difficult that fewer people can do. Every bugger and their window cleaner thinks they can teach English, and as the students are generally clueless, they don't know the difference anyway. A fellow choirsinger recently told me he'd found a course for R$ 25.00 per month! I try to charge that per hour, to stave off the worst of malnutrition.

When our Polish visitors were here recently, I was informed there would be a young man from the local town hall accompanying us. "Don't worry," I was told confidently, "he speaks fluent English."

"I am pooblic hellations for the Major," he stammered by way of introduction, prompting confused glances to be exchanged between the Eastern Europeans, who clearly believed, as I did, that Brazil's military dictatorship ended over twenty years ago. I should be cleaning up around here, for pity's sake.

But I digress from the cheer it gave me to see young Crappers making headway, rather than teaching it, again, for the fortieth time this week.

You, sir, are an inspiration and I salute you!



PS If you need any kind of representative/agent/salesman/cleaner in the Andean region, I'm more than available.