JOBSEARCH UPDATE!

As some of you already know, today I went to São Paulo to do a voice test for a video production company. To be frank, it wasn’t at all what I was expecting.

Firstly, they told me there was no need to do my tap dancing routine. Then, barely three bars into “You’re All I Need To Get By” (the moving Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell duet), the woman, in a tone of voice I didn’t take to one little bit, demanded that I, “Just read the text we gave you, please” – some turgid piece about an electrical engineering firm. I was almost expecting her to shout, “Bring on the hook!” halfway through, such was her offhand attitude to my artistry. I read it, but had had so little time to get into character that I wasn’t at all satisfied with the result.

Then came the feedback. I have an exquisite voice, apparently, but I need to “put more energy into my performances”. I explained that I’m into my second decade as a TEFL teacher. She crossed herself and suggested I practise at home.

Shoddy, that’s how I’d describe it. If these are the depths to which the search for new talent has plunged, soon we’ll be back to the days when Little and Large was considered prime-time Saturday night entertainment. Then don’t come running to me.

POST SCRIPT!
Show has just informed me that the word "esquisito" in Brazilian is a falso amigo - it doesn't mean "exquisite", it means "strange" or "odd". That's good news, then.