Notes from the TEFL Graveyard

Wistful reflections, petty glories.

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Location: The House of Usher, Brazil

I'm a flailing TEFL teacher who entered the profession over a decade ago to kill some time whilst I tried to find out what I really wanted to do. I like trying to write comedy (I once got to the semi-finals of a BBC Talent competition, ironically writing a sitcom based on TEFL), whilst trying to conquer genetically inherited procrastination... I am now based in Brazil, where I live with my wife and two chins.

Friday 19 October 2007

POLL RESULTS JUST IN

Another generally successful TEFL Graveyard poll has now closed, with a grand total of five votes registered. As the last election was marred by a vote-rigging scandal in which two of the seven votes were cast from two different computers by the same lonely person with too much time on his hands (I believe they call them “hackers”), I can only assume that the same five citizens have voted again. I salute you, pollsters, you are the manure that helps the rose of democracy shamelessly blossom.

This time, four readers said that they prefer my humble burial ground to Dave’s ESL Café (no need to shoot myself in the head just yet, then), whilst one visionary prognosticator shares my conviction that I’ll be famous one day, and wants to be able to bask in some reflected glory.

The only lingering doubt is whether I’ll achieve notoriety for doing something brilliant, or whether my name will be carved forever in TEFL infamy as the first known perpetrator of a Reverse School Massacre. This is where, instead of some implosive, devil-worshipping student sadistically taking out his teenage angst on assorted jocks, cheerleaders, the prom queen and the school janitor, a TEFL teacher goes on a rampage against his students armed only with some child-proof scissors, a non-toxic glue stick, sharpened whiteboard pens and an industrial stapler.

Some things we can only leave up to the gods. They shall speak to us when it is Time To Act.

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