Skip to main content

DON'T WORREH - BE HAPPEH

One of the things that has drawn me to admire, and at times gingerly adopt, the tenets of buddhism (a label I deride, incidentally, as to me it is less a relijurn and more a box of wise psychological tools - the allen key set of spiritualism, if you like) is the fact that, unlike other religions, it expressly forbids anger in all its forms.

It seems to me that any move in this direction can only be a wise one for humankind. Imagine how many fewer high school massacres, suicide bombings, street stabbings, drunken beatings and tit-for-tat violence there would be if we could just learn to chill out, stop taking life so seriously and exercise a little patience at critical moments.

As Lama Zopa Rinpoche says,


"Anger obscures your mind and makes your life unhappy. Anger can cause physical harm and even endanger your life. When you are angry, you are certainly unhappy and may be afraid, and you may also cause fear and unhappiness in others. Anger can make you destructive... The pain of anger is like burning red-hot coals in your heart. Anger transforms even a beautiful person into something dark, ugly and terrifying."
(Transforming Porblems into Happiness, Lama Zopa Rinpoche, Wisdom Publications, Boston, 2001, pp. 22-23)


I have, over the years, met a few angry people in TEFL. Andy (pronounced Andeh) was a brash northerner who'd spent the previous n years teaching in a special school for exceptionally violent children.

He was full of harrowing stories of teachers having to enter the classroom in twos in case they were jumped by the students, and of students unleashing unprovoked blitzkriegs against classmates on a regular basis. Most teachers, he said, lasted less than a week in the job - but the pay was good, compared to normal state school teachers, so he'd stuck at it.

His whole personality deeply marked by this experience, he'd grabbed onto TEFL like a drowning man to barnacle-encrusted rocks, in perhaps one last attempt to save himself from a tailspin into complete mental collapse.

His body language spoke volumes. He stormed everywhere. When the bell went for breaktime, he'd storm into the staffroom and down a couple of mugs full of over-hot coffee. When the bell went again, he'd stomp back to his classroom with simmering menace.

At lunchtime, he'd storm into the cafeteria for lunch, then storm out into the garden for a deeply-drawn fag. I suspect he even stormed to the toilet, though this is a theory that was never corroborated, probably wisely.

As Lama Zopa predicted, Andeh made everybody nervous, if not exactly fearful. Once, when someone had engaged him in conversation about the differences between TEFL and his previous job, he'd responded bluntly, "Here, the students are nice. There, you spent all yer time fighting the bastards," illustrating his point by wringing the neck of an imaginary youth so hard that his own eyes started to bulge.

He was eventually moved to a sister school, I imagine due to there having been some complaints. His background not being in languages, he'd respond to linguistic queries from the students with a deeply clichéd, "Don't worreh - be happeh!"

While this may have placated the demure orientals and the easy-going latinos, the course-fee-aware Teutonic-Scandinavian axis in the school saw his glib retorts for what they were - desperate attempts to dodge questions to which he had no plausible answer.

The last time I saw Andeh he was storming down a Bournemouth street like a man on his way to confront a gang of twelve-year-olds who had set fire to his camper van the night before. Days later, it turned out he'd suffered a heart attack and was in intensive care.

If only he'd read Lama Zopa Rinpoche's 2,500-year-old warning.

Comments

Ms Scarlet said…
Ah, sounds like he was a bit stressed then....
Probably needed a shag.
Sx
Gyppo Byard said…
Ah, but context is everything. that quote from the Lama about anger comes from a court transcript, and was apparently what he said in the comparatively brief interval between rear-ending the builder's van and being carried off in an ambulance.
M C Ward said…
Scarlet, I am constantly impressed by how you manage to get to distill everything down to a transparent need for human contact.

Gyppo - if I'm not mistaken, rear ending is also expressly forbidden in buddhism.
No Good Boyo said…
Buddhism forbids rear-ending, eh? No so different to Leviticus after all.

Teutons are a pain in the Hinter. I taught Russian to a class of mature students at London Uni, and it was easy enough to fob their occasionally intelligent questions with some vaguery. Except for a pair of Germans who suspiciously rifled through Borras & Christian's Russian Syntax while keeping at least one monocled eye on me. Bastards.
Mrs Pouncer said…
Yep, I think I'd like to be a Buddhist this year, MC. Be a nice change from the hideous combo that's blighted me from birth. A cousin of mine has already converted, but that's because Buddhism's big in Stoke Poges, for some reason. My dear old grandfather would prepare for the Sabbath wracked by furious anger, howling "Vy must we be yoked to toil? I embezzle my own life, oi Gevald!" There is something comical about the angry Jew. The angry Catholic often foams at the mouth; and just look at Rev Ian Paisley!
Gadjo Dilo said…
I never understood anger - or much else really - for a long long time. I feel I respect Andeh as he's done jobs I could probably never do. But people who say "don't worreh - be happeh" are often, in my experience, also the types who never bother to give back the stuff/money you've lent them.
M C Ward said…
Boyo, we're on the same page there.

Mrs Pouncer - I imagine calling Dr Paisley a Catholic to his face would guarantee a spectacular case of spontaneous combustion.

Gadjo - you're so right. It's like people who say "trust me" or "I'm honest" - they never are. If they were, they wouldn't need to go around trying to convince people/themselves.

Popular posts from this blog

FOOLING WITH SCHOOLING

One of the commonest figures to be found within TEFL is the aspiring administrator. This is a teacher who, often drained by years of repetitive, poorly remunerated clowning around in the classroom, seeks a position managing other teachers, such as Director of Studies (aptly and attractively known as "Doss"), from which they can sit in an imaginary TEFL director’s chair smoking a cigar, bellowing, “CUT!” and enjoying not having to pull a linguistic rabbit out of a hat twelve times a day, five days a week. I include myself within this TEFL subgenre, although my past experiences of administration have left me with an odd yearning to get back into the classroom and be king of my own modest sandcastle. In 2005, whilst I was working in HR at a local factory, my Brazilian friend Bert and I decided to start our own school. I had recently managed to wriggle out of a honey trap I’d set for myself, when I offered to give a free English course to my colleagues in the factory’s Training a...

I AM OFFICIALLY A TIT

Show recently extracted the wind from my sails with typically well-intentioned down-to-earthism. Armed with several diagrams and a kitchen knife , she extolled her opinion that I should concentrate on doing what I can do and stop fannying around trying to learn how to do things I can’t , in yet another feeble-minded attempt to divorce myself from TEFL. Yet again, I believe her to be right. It all started back in May, when I went to Poland with my male voice choir and on the plane to Frankfurt found myself sitting next to Jetro, one of our second tenors. I’d never really spoken to him before, but during the trip I discovered that he ran a small yet growing Internet company , an online system through which owners of used car dealerships could manage their businesses. He explained how previously he’d been something of a factotum, working around the country in various jobs and starting various businesses, until he discovered that he could neither work for somebody nor manage others –...

NO MORE A-CUSSIN'

In an effort to rid himself of the habit of using foul language at the slightest provocation , a Facebook chum recently asked for suggestions for harmless expressions he could use in front of his Gran and her bingo clique during moments of high stress, astonishment and/or extreme disappointment. I weighed in with, " Crikey! " and, " Great Scott! " Please feel free to add your suggestions, and help to make the world a tiny bit less like a trucker's stopover in Eindhoven .