Skip to main content

THOSE LAZY COMPOSERS

The highlight of my week is Wednesday, not only because I have no English classes to teach, but because it’s rehearsal night for my male voice choir. Twenty-five men, strong and true, plus me, participating in a sublime act of collective solidarity.

To me, singing in a choir is the apotheosis of democratic principles. Nobody is more important than anybody else in a choral ensemble – age, social class, economic conditions, sexual orientation, status – all are rendered meaningless. The prince and the pauper can stand toe to toe and neither must give ground, they are absolute equals, the differences between them becoming indistinguishable (except that the prince probably wears dandy threads and the pauper rags, and the pauper’s bodily odours probably aren’t anything to write a poem about when contrasted with the prince’s fragrant Old Spice.)

One thing troubles me, however. This week we have been given seven days to complete the unenviable task of memorising two stretches of German composer Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana (Ecce Gratum and Fortune Plango Vulnera, to be precise.) To give a flavour of what this entails, consider these fragments from Orff’s masterwork:

Qui conantur ut utantur premio Cupidinis,

Quicquid enim florui,

Nam sub axe legimus Hecubam reginam.

The obvious question is, why write a serious choral work in Klingon? Just to assure your place in the trendy vanguard? Those damned Trekkies have a lot to answer for – I challenge anybody to give even one example of how they have contributed to human progress with their sinister conventions and suspicious disguises, not to mention their cloven-footed talking in tongues.

A wider subject for enquiry is why more classical composers didn’t write in English. Were they so lacking in foresight that they failed to appreciate the unstoppable march of our beautiful language towards its status as the global lingua franca? Was TEFL held in such low regard even back then? Imagine how much greater Mozart’s influence might have been had he spent a little less time on his ditties and dedicated a little more energy to making some progress through the Headway course.

History tells us that there were a few visionary exceptions. George Frideric Handel (Friday 23 February 1685 – Saturday 14 April 1759) was born in Germany, but moved to England in 1712, clearly aware that only by living with a Host Family was he to master the language of the future and achieve true reknown. His undisputed masterpiece Messiah, based on the King James Bible, was written in English, making it one of the most accessible works in classical music, provided that you speak the language, of course.

Beethoven’s insistence on writing his lyrics in German has caused untold strife for subsequent generations. When we attempt to sing a certain phrase from his shiver-down-the-spine-inducing Welten Singen (from his oratorio “Christus am Ölberge”), each of us baritones interprets the stretch in our own unique way. As we reach the heartstopping crescendo at the end of the scale, I habitually have at least three syllables left over. All because Beethoven was linguistically lazy.

There is a lesson to be learned in all this. If anybody knows what it is, please enlighten me.

Comments

No Good Boyo said…
Hinglish is what's left over when the Normans got bored of buggering some French phrases into Kentish shepherds. Learn Welsh, a language with a past to be proud of and a passing resemblance to Klingon. Big up to you over the Male Voice Choirs, Goldie Looking Chain, Withnail & I and generally living in Brazil, mun.

Popular posts from this blog

FOOLING WITH SCHOOLING

One of the commonest figures to be found within TEFL is the aspiring administrator. This is a teacher who, often drained by years of repetitive, poorly remunerated clowning around in the classroom, seeks a position managing other teachers, such as Director of Studies (aptly and attractively known as "Doss"), from which they can sit in an imaginary TEFL director’s chair smoking a cigar, bellowing, “CUT!” and enjoying not having to pull a linguistic rabbit out of a hat twelve times a day, five days a week. I include myself within this TEFL subgenre, although my past experiences of administration have left me with an odd yearning to get back into the classroom and be king of my own modest sandcastle. In 2005, whilst I was working in HR at a local factory, my Brazilian friend Bert and I decided to start our own school. I had recently managed to wriggle out of a honey trap I’d set for myself, when I offered to give a free English course to my colleagues in the factory’s Training a...

TEFL ANTHEMS VOL. I

An interesting debate over at ELT World in answer to the question, Are your students learning anything? has got me all reflective. Many rock songs are claimed by religious maniacs to include subliminal messages when played backwards or by missing every sixth word or summat, but others are more easily deciphered. As TEFL anthems go, perhaps one of the most memorably haunting has to be Dave Gilmour/Roger Waters' bitterly ironic collaboration reflecting on TEFL one-to-one classes being taught abroad , Wish You Were Here : How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls Swimming in a fish bowl, Year after year, Running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears. Wish you were here. As TEFL mongers we often feel like we're in a fish bowl, year after year , not least because the majority of our students exhibit the retention capacities of the goldfish. After painstakingly explaining that we use the preposition to after various verbs, the ...

NO MORE A-CUSSIN'

In an effort to rid himself of the habit of using foul language at the slightest provocation , a Facebook chum recently asked for suggestions for harmless expressions he could use in front of his Gran and her bingo clique during moments of high stress, astonishment and/or extreme disappointment. I weighed in with, " Crikey! " and, " Great Scott! " Please feel free to add your suggestions, and help to make the world a tiny bit less like a trucker's stopover in Eindhoven .